You're not some guy's fun time

Should You Ever Date a Guy Who is Separated but Still Married?


Dear DDHG,

I have a big problem and I'm hoping I can turn to DDHG to some advice. I'm a single, 28-year old woman with no kids. I have a good job, own my condo and have been supporting myself since I was 17 years old.

I put myself through college and am working on another degree right now. About three weeks ago, I met a really nice guy who seemed just perfect. There was one problem though, he said he was "separated, but still married". He told me about all the problems he had with his wife and why they were divorcing. He hasn't filed for divorce, neither has she, but they live in separate houses. Is this the kind of guy I should be investing my time in? Should a guy like this be on the dating scene in the first place?

- SEEKING ADVICE, New York

Dear Seeking,

The answer is no, this guy should not be on the dating scene. He should wait until he is divorced and so should you before you even think about dating him long term. Guys who have recently left marriages aren't really emotionally equipped to jump right into another serious relationship.

"Most guys want to play before they settle," says DDHG resident male The Average Guy. "If a guy has been in a marriage or committed relationship and it ends, the first thing they want to do is find something new. But they're not looking for a serious relationship, they're looking for fun."

You're not some guy's fun time. You're better than that. It seems like you've accomplished a lot in life and you don't need a guy who is still married to weigh you down. :)