If you're not married yet, share this with a friend.
If you are married, share it with your spouse or
other married couples and reflect on it.
An African proverb states, "Before you get married,
keep both eyes open, and after you marry, close one
Before you get involved and make a commitment to
someone, don't let lust, desperation, immaturity,
ignorance, pressure from others or a low-self esteem
make you blind to warning signs.
Keep your eyes open, and don't fool yourself that you
can change someone or that what you see as faults
aren't really that important.
Once you decide to commit to someone, over time their
flaws, vulnerabilities, pet peeves, and differences
will become more obvious.
If you love your mate and want the relationship to
grow and evolve, you've got to learn how to close one
eye and not let every little thing bother you.
You and your mate have many different expectations,
emotional needs, values, dreams, weaknesses, and
You are two unique individual children of God who have
decided to share a life together.
Neither one of you are perfect, but are you perfect
for each other? Do you bring out the best in each other?
Do you compliment and compromise with each other, or
do you compete, compare, and control?
What do you bring to the relationship?
Do you bring past relationships, past hurt, past
mistrust, past pain.
You can't take someone to the altar to "alter" them.
You can't make someone love you or make someone stay.
If you develop self-esteem, spiritual discernment,
and "a life," you won't find yourself making someone
else responsible for your happiness or responsible for
Manipulation, control, jealousy, neediness, and
selfishness are not the ingredients of a thriving,
healthy, loving and lasting relationship.
Seeking status, sex, wealth and security are the wrong
reasons to be in relationship.
What keeps a relationship strong?
Communication, Intimacy, Trust, A sense of humor.
Sharing household tasks.
Some getaway time without business or children.
Daily exchanges (a meal, shared activity, a hug, a
call, a touch, a note).
Leave a nice message on their voicemail or send a nice email.
Sharing common goals and interests.
Growth is important. Grow together, not away from each
other, giving each other space to grow without feeling
Allow your mate to have outside interest.
You can't always be together.
Give each other a sense of belonging and assurances of
Don't try to control one another.
Learn each others family situation.
Respect his or her parents regardless.
Don't put pressure on each other for material goods.
Remember, for Richer or for Poorer.
If these qualities are missing, the relationship will
erode as resentment, withdrawal, abuse, neglect,
dishonesty, and pain replace the passion.
"Nurture your mind with great thoughts, for you will
never go any higher than you think."
The grass withers, the flower fades, But the word of God stands for ever. Isaiah 40:8